Adventures in Yamishipping
by kirin-saga
Summary: The adventures of three yamis in the Modern World. Shounenai. Chapter summary: The evilness of cute little kittens.
1. The Microwave

Title: Adventures in Yamishipping  
Author: Cheysuli  
Rated: PG  
Pairing: Yami/Bakura/Marik  
Warnings: Shounen-ai; OOC; and mistreatment of innocent appliances. You have been warned. If you don't like, don't read.  
Chapter Summary: Oh, the evils of modern appliances.  
A/N: Yay! Another first for me! Yamishipping! And thanks for the bunny, Leo! Not quite sure if this was what you had in mind but I hope you like. And I meant for this to be a one-shot; I really did. But it didn't work out that way. Heh. Oh, I may change the title. I just needed _something _to call it.

* * *

"Die, damn you!"

Yami didn't even blink at the loud curse. Or the many crashes that followed. Such noises were normal. He just calmly continued reading his book, figuring that his lovers were simply playing. Although he really wished they wouldn't play in the kitchen; they _did _have to eat there after all.

"Stop mocking me, you... you thing!"

And he really wished Bakura could come up with more creative curses than that. Ryou was such a bad influence, not letting Bakura learn any Japanese swear words. Although why Bakura didn't just curse in Ancient Egyptian, Yami had no clue. Bakura was _so _much more creative in his native language.

"Umm... you're in here."

Yami _did _blink at that, lowering his book to gaze up at Marik, who was standing next the couch Yami was lying on. "Yes, Marik," he answered in amusement. "Where else would I be?"

Marik just glanced towards the kitchen in confusion. "But... if you're here... and I'm here..."

Yami paled, finally realizing what Marik's presence meant. If neither of them was with Bakura, and Bakura was trying to kill something... then that meant... "The kitchen!" Yami screamed, bolting off the couch and out of the room.

Marik blinked at Yami's sudden movements before shaking his head and turning to follow.

* * *

Yami and Marik stared in shock at the sight that met them. The kitchen was a mess; plates and silverware were all over the floor, the fridge's door was hanging off its hinges, and the toaster was... sparking. Yami shook his head. They _told _Bakura he couldn't put forks in the toaster. But did he listen? Nnnnnnooooooooooo.

Speaking of Bakura...

Yami and Marik groaned when they finally saw their lover. Bakura was at the far end of the kitchen, standing over the remains of what appeared to be the microwave. And he was waving a rolling pin.

"This'll teach you to beep at me, you... you..."

Yami winced and Marik laughed as Bakura finally decided to abandon Japanese and start cursing the thing in Egyptian. Yami took back what he thought earlier. He was glad Bakura didn't know many Japanese swear words. Some of the things he was saying now sounding rather painful and... technically impossible. He'd have to remember to send Ryou a thank you card or something for being so strict.

"You think we should stop him?" Marik asked, watching in amusement as Bakura beat the poor microwave to death with his rolling pin. "I don't think he can cause it anymore damage and normally I'd say let him have his fun. But I think he's bleeding."

Yami glanced at him before turning his full attention to Bakura. Now that he was looking closer, he _did _see a bit of blood trailing down the rolling pin. He sighed. Trust Bakura to find a way to hurt himself while torturing an inanimate object. "Should I distract him or should you?" he asked in exasperation.

Marik thought a moment. "You distract him. I'll grab him."

Yami nodded, moving slowly up to Bakura. "Uh, love?" he asked, as he came to a stop just out of Bakura's reach. Remembering the rolling pin, he took a step back. "What did the microwave do this time?"

Bakura paused and looked at him, finally realizing he wasn't alone. "It beeped at me!" he whined. "And it wouldn't stop!"

Yami nodded as if he understood. "I see," he said, trying to keep Bakura's attention off of Marik, who was inching along the side of the room. "It's a bad microwave and needs to be punished."

Bakura smiled and nodded, adjusting his grip on the rolling pin. It was feeling a bit slippery for some reason.

Yami sighed. "How does that explain the fridge? Or the silverware on the floor? Or the toaster?"

Bakura blinked. "Uh, well... I guess I did make a bit of a mess while searching for something to kill the microwave with," he said, chewing nervously on his lower lip. "I'll clean it up."

Yami was almost afraid to ask. "And... the toaster?"

Bakura winced. "My toast got stuck. So I used a fork to get it out... and the toaster started sparking and the lights flickered. That's when the microwave started beeping."

"How many times do we have to tell you not to put anything but food in the toaster?" Marik asked, coming up behind Bakura and wrapping his arms around his waist. "You could have been electrocuted," he continued, gently easing Bakura's 'weapon' away from him. "And you forgot to mention how you hurt your hand.

Bakura flinched, startled at Marik's sudden appearance, and glanced curiously at his bleeding hand. Which was hurting pretty bad now that he thought about it. "Oh, uh... I hadn't noticed that. Until now."

Yami sighed and moved closer, taking Bakura's hand in his own. "This is pretty bad, Bakura," he said, trying to clean some of the blood away. "I think you need stitches."

Bakura frowned. He hated getting stitches. Well, actually, it was the doctor he hated. Always groping him and telling him what a _nice_ boy he was...

Marik felt Bakura's shiver and pulled him closer, taking the chance to get his own look at Bakura's injury. "Tell me, how _did _you manage to seriously injure yourself while attacking an appliance?"

"Well," Bakura began, trying not to wince as Yami continued to inspect his hand. "I was trying to stab the microwave... and my hand slipped. And how was I supposed to know microwaves were that _hard!" _he whined, looking at Yami with tearful eyes.

They blinked at him, both realizing that they would have to once again explain to Bakura the dangers of modern life. And now they had to add 'microwaves are harder than knives' to the ever growing list. _'We really should write these things down for him,' _Yami thought, as he left Bakura in Marik's capable hands to go in search of the first aid kit. _'I swear he's worse than a child sometimes.'_

It was true; Bakura _was _like a child at times. Always rushing in without thinking, saying the strangest things, wanting to play all the time... ok, so his idea of playing usually involved some kind of destruction; but he still considered it a game. And the smallest things could upset him.

Like when the microwave beeped at him.

Yami frowned as he grabbed the kit from its place under the sink, and not for the first time wondered exactly how old Bakura had been when he had been sealed into the Ring. Bakura never told them. Hell, Yami didn't think even _Ryou _knew. And Bakura told Ryou everything.Well, _almost _everything. Yami seriously doubted Bakura told Ryou anything about his life in Egypt. And he didn't think Bakura told him about what he did when the cops had to drag him home in the middle of the night. And he probably didn't tell Ryou about his sex life... or his friends... or his feelings...

Ok, so he hardly told Ryou anything.

Realizing that his mind had drifted, Yami turned back to Bakura and Marik. Only... they were no longer there. He blinked in confusion for a moment, having not heard them leave, but shrugged when he remembered they were thieves. And thieves hardly ever made any noise. Unless they were attacking innocent microwaves, that is.

Yami sighed as he carefully - so as to avoid tripping over the scattered debris - made his way from the kitchen, frowning slightly as he noticed drops of blood creating a trail into the next room. Bakura really needed to be more careful while trying to kill things. That or Yami needed to lock up all the sharp objects in the house. _'Oh, there's no point to that,' _he thought as entered the living room, where Marik had Bakura seated on the couch and was kneeling in front of him, wrapping Bakura's hand in a piece of cloth he had found somewhere. _'He'll just find something non-sharp to hurt himself with. How the **hell** did he survive alone in Egypt?'_

"Yami? Yami, you there?"

Yami shook his head, realizing he had been drifting again, and handed Marik the first aid kit. "So how bad is it?" he asked as he sat next to Bakura, who was calmly watching Marik tend to his hand. Well, calmly until he saw Marik go for the peroxide.

Marik sighed as he stopped cleaning the cut and waited until Yami had a hold of the now struggling Bakura. "Honestly, Bakura; how is it you don't notice a two inch gash but you can't handle a little disinfectant?" he asked as he poured a bit of the liquid onto Bakura's hand.

Bakura winced and tried to jerk his hand away, but was prevented from doing so by Yami's tight grip on his arm. "It burns!" he cried. "Stop it! Get it off!"

Yami tightened his grip on Bakura and pulled the thief against him, praying that Marik would hurry up and _finish. _"It's your own fault, Bakura. You should know by now that you shouldn't play with knives."

"But it was _beeping _at me!"

Marik growled as Bakura, who had just remembered his legs could be weapons, nearly kicked him in the face. "I don't care _what _the microwave did; you stop moving or I'll _bathe _you in this stuff."

Bakura stopped moving. Completely.

Marik sighed in frustration. "You can breathe," he said, putting the peroxide away and grabbing a roll of bandages.

Bakura started breathing again and sagged against Yami, staring at him with wide, innocent, pleading eyes. Yes; Ryou was _definitely _a bad influence. No thank you card for him. "Sorry, Bakura," Yami said, pointedly _not _looking at either of his lovers. _'Must resist the eyes. Must resist the eyes...'_ He heard Bakura whimper and accidentally looked at him. Big mistake. The wide, innocent, pleading eyes had now become the wide, innocent, tearful eyes.

It was amazing how Bakura could go from dangerous thief to upset child in the blink of an eye. How he could go from someone who you knew could survive alone in the world to someone you felt needed to be protected, wrapped in cotton and locked away.

It was times like these that Yami felt like he was robbing the cradle.

"There! All done!"

Yami looked down at Marik, who was smiling brightly as he inspected his work. Yami slowly released Bakura, whose right hand was now tightly bandaged. There was no need to keep a hold on him now that the task was done.

"You'll still have to go to the doctor and get stitches, though."

And as Bakura bolted from the room, Yami realized that he really should have kept hold of him. Stupid Marik; why couldn't he have said that a few seconds sooner! Yami sighed. "So, should you chase him or should I?"

Marik just laughed.

TBC...

* * *

A/N: Well, that was a long chapter (for me). Five pages. And to think, this was supposed to be a short little one-shot. 


	2. The Doctor

Title: Adventures in Yamishipping  
Author: Cheysuli  
Rated: R  
Pairing: Yami/Bakura/Marik  
Warnings: Shounen-ai; OOC; and mature themes. You have been warned. If you don't like, don't read.  
Chapter Summary: Doctors are evil. Now if only Bakura could convince his lovers of that.  
A/N: Decided to keep the title. I rather like it now that I think about it.  
A/N2: No offense to any doctors or cops who may read this.

* * *

"Let me go!"

Yami winced as he just barely avoided being kicked in a very... sensitive area and tightened his grip on Bakura. "Bakura, stop it! The neighbors are staring!" he growled as Bakura tried to jerk away from him.

Bakura glared. "Good! Maybe they'll call the cops and have you arrested for kidnapping! Now let me _go!" _he screamed as he tried to free his arm from Yami's grip.

"We are not kidnapping you! We're taking you to the doctor! Now get in the damn car!" Yami yelled as he finally managed to shove Bakura into the back seat of the car Marik had found... somewhere. Yami was not questioning where the car had come from. He didn't need to know. Plausible deniability and all that.

"Did you get him in yet?"

Yami turned and glared at his other lover. "Where the _hell _were you? Do you know what I had to do to get him in there!" he said, gesturing towards the car... where Bakura was trying to figure out how to open the door. Oh, the wonders of Child Safety Locks. Ra bless whoever invented those.

Child proof caps on the other hand...

Realizing he was drifting again, Yami returned his full attention to Marik. "Well?"

Marik shrugged as he put his tool box in the car's trunk. "Well, while you were hunting down Bakura, _I _was doing something productive. I changed the license plates," he said, smirking as he closed the trunk.

Yami blinked. _'Stolen car. Right.' _He shook his head as he turned back to the car, really looking at it for the first time since he had noticed it. "Couldn't you have gotten one a little less... conspicuous?" he asked as he studied the bright red Ford Mustang, noticing that Bakura had found something to bang against the window; little cracks were beginning to form on the glass. This was not good.

Marik shrugged. "It was the first one I saw that wasn't a convertible," he answered as he walked around to the driver's side. "You remember the last time I stole a convertible, don't you?"

Yami shuddered as he watched Marik get in the car, remembering the... convertible incident. Bakura had said that feeling the wind in his hair like that made it seem as if he were flying. Then he had nearly fallen out of the car. Yami still didn't know why Bakura thought it was a good idea to stand up in a moving vehicle.

Though he was beginning to suspect that maybe Bakura had gotten hit in the head a bit too often. Yami remembered seeing Ryou slap Bakura once or twice when the white haired thief was being particularly difficult. Bakura always looked a bit dazed when that happened; Ryou was obviously stronger than he looked.

Maybe he should have the doctor check for brain damage while they were there.

"Yami, are you planning on getting in the car anytime soon?"

And maybe he should do as Marik said instead of standing here looking stupid.

* * *

"Well, we're here," Marik said as he quickly pulled into an empty parking space and shut off the engine.

Yami sighed in relief that the seemingly long drive was over. While Marik's driving had improved since Malik had forced him to take lessons, he still wasn't the safest driver. Although he always seemed to be more careful when there was an injured Bakura in the car. Which was depressingly often.

Speaking of Bakura...

Yami glanced back at Bakura, who was sulking in the backseat. He had stopped trying to open the doors half-way through the trip, either finally realizing he couldn't defeat the child-proof locks - especially with only one working hand - or he had gotten distracted by something. Yami hoped it was the former but looking closer, he could see that Bakura was in fact not sulking and was instead staring at something on the floor.

Curious, Yami leaned over the seat as he tried to see what had Bakura so interested. He blinked when he saw a small pinkish box thing. That was purring and had a little white paw reaching out to play with Bakura's shoelaces. "Uh... Marik?" he asked, as the box gave a little mew. "Just where did you find this car?"

"At the animal shelter," Marik answered as he turned around to see what Yami was looking at. "Why?" He blinked as he noticed the carrier. "Oh."

Bakura smiled before glancing up at his lovers. "Can we keep her?"

* * *

After promising Bakura that he could keep the kitten - but only ifhe behaved at the doctors - getting Bakura out of the car and into the doctor's office was surprisingly easy. All they had to do this time was reassure him that the kitten, who he named Snowy, would be all right alone in the car for the hour it would take to get stitches, fill out the necessary paperwork, and pay for everything. It was a rather cool day, plus they had parked in the shade, so they were pretty sure they had not unintentionally lied.

This was a great relief to Yami and Marik since usually they had to physically restrain Bakura and carry him kicking and screaming to even get him out of the car. They would never understand just why Bakura hated the doctor so much. Dr. Reynolds was such a nice man.

But anyways, they had successfully gotten Bakura out of the car and were now leading him through the building's entrance and into the waiting room. And Bakura was being surprisingly well behaved. Even though he was obviously nervous and wanted to be anywhere other than here, he was not trying to escape. No, he was just dragging his feet and clinging desperately to Yami as Marik walked up to the desk and began talking to the nurse.

Yami scowled as he watched Marik argue with the nurse. This was another reason he wished Bakura would be more careful. With all the times they had brought him in with broken bones or cuts or concussions, it was obvious that people suspected he was being abused. And judging from Marik's shouting and the nurse's suspicious and angry gaze, they had to once again convince her that there was no need to call the police.

They had failed to convince her once and the police had harassed them for weeks - showing up unexpectedly several times a day, inspecting the house for any illegal activities, taking notes on their behavior, and talking to Bakura when Marik and Yami weren't around. Thankfully, the police had realized that Bakura was just careless and that no abuse was taking place. They had apologized for any inconvenience they had caused and then they left - though not before telling them to lock up all sharp objects and to board up the upstairs windows. Apparently one of the cops had seen Bakura knock out the glass to the bedroom window and lean a bit too far out. If that cop hadn't been there to grab a hold of him, Bakura would have probably fallen and broken his neck.

Though Yami really wanted to know _why _the cop had followed Bakura into the bedroom and why Bakura felt he needed to jump out the window. Bakura was not that fond of heights and would _never _lean out a second story window unless he felt it was his only escape. Yami had decided then that cops were evil... and that made him wonder why the cops kept bringing an upset Bakura home in the middle of the night when Yami _knew _he hadn't done anything to get in trouble.

Though that hadn't happened since Yami and Marik had told Bakura he wasn't allowed to leave the house after dark anymore. And surprisingly, Bakura hadn't argued. It was if he had _wanted _them to tell him that; though Yami didn't understand why he had always gone out after dark if he hadn't wanted to.

Though the phone calls from Ryou probably had something to do with it.

And Marik was done yelling now and was smiling victoriously at the still scowling nurse so it must be time for Bakura to see the doctor. Now all Yami had to do was convince Bakura to release his arm.

* * *

Doctors were evil. Bakura knew this and couldn't understand why no one else could see it. They were more evil than cops and Barney... though maybe not as evil as BooBah. Those things were _scary. _Bakura couldn't understand why kids seemed to enjoy them and he felt sorry for those parents who were forced to watch those shows over and over and over and over and...

Bakura had just realized Yami and Marik had left the room. They had left him alone with the evil Dr. Reynolds who was smiling a very creepy smile at him. This... was not good.

"Hello, Bakura," Dr. Reynolds purred as he reached out to stroke Bakura's hair. "I hear you've been a naughty boy and hurt yourself again." He sighed, shaking his head as he let his hand trail down Bakura's arm. "Whatever shall I do with you?"

Bakura tensed and moved away from him, praying that his lovers returned quickly.

* * *

Yami hated paperwork. He didn't know why they had to fill it out every time they came here; the forms never changed and neither did Bakura's information, so redoing them made absolutely no sense. And this time Marik wasn't here to help, having gone back to the car to check on Snowy. Stupid cat, distracting Marik when it _knew _Yami needed the blond's help with these Ra damned forms!

And the forms were so _long _too. The forms were never this long when it was Marik or Yami who were hurt. Maybe Bakura's forms were so long because he got hurt more often? That made a small amount of sense... but some of these questions seemed rather personal and unnecessary.

Is the patient a virgin?

If no, how many sexual partners has the patient had?

Does the patient like being touched?

Does the patient often have episodes of unexplained fear and/or does he claim he has been sexually abused?

Yami felt he was missing something.

* * *

The doctor had finished stitching Bakura's hand in ten minutes and had spent the remainder of Bakura's appointment trying to convince him that it would be a good idea to have a complete physical. Bakura had spent the remainder of his appointment trying to convince the doctor he didn't need one.

Bakura _hated _physicals. Dr. Reynolds always tried to get him to take off his clothes and when Bakura refused, the doctor would shake his head before trying to strip Bakura himself. Bakura would always slap his hands away and the doctor would then pat the thief's head and call him a naughty boy.

This would continue for nearly an hour, Bakura occasionally failing to avoid groping hands, before Yami and Marik finally returned to the room and found him cowering in the corner with the doctor standing over him.

And the doctor always told them what a _nice _boy Bakura was.

Fortunately, Bakura didn't have to deal with that today. Yami had returned earlier than expected, yelling something about forms and realizations and pedophiles. He had then pulled Bakura into his arms before glaring at the doctor and leading Bakura from the room.

Bakura, although rather confused and disoriented, was extremely grateful.

* * *

Yami was furious. After thinking hard about the questions on the forms, he finally realized why Bakura hated - no, _feared _- the doctor so much. The monster was molesting him. Yami wasn't sure how far the abuse had gone... although he had to admit it probably hadn't gone so far as rape since Bakura rarely shied away from Yami's or Marik's advances - and now that he thought about it, the only times Bakura _did _shy away were right after he had been to the doctor's.

It made Yami wonder why it had taken so long for him to notice.

And why didn't Bakura _say _anything? Didn't he know he could tell his lovers anything? Didn't he know they would do anything to keep him safe? Or... maybe he _had _tried to tell them. Yami had lost count of all the times Bakura said he hated the doctor... or that the doctor was evil or that the doctor was creepy.

Yami sighed as he led Bakura towards the car where Marik and Snowy were waiting. He looked over at Bakura, who was watching him quietly in confusion. It was if he hadn't expected anyone to come to his rescue. Yami smiled sadly at him, hugging him closer, as he realized just what he and Marik had done.

They had failed to protect Bakura.

TBC...

* * *

A/N3: Although most of this fic is humor, parts of it are not meant to be funny. Such as certain parts of this chapter. So don't accuse me of finding humor in the behavior of certain people. 


	3. The Kitten

Title: Adventures in Yamishipping  
Author: Cheysuli  
Rated: R  
Pairing: Yami/Bakura/Marik  
Warnings: Shounen-ai; OOC. You have been warned. If you don't like, don't read.  
Chapter Summary: The evilness of cute little kittens.

* * *

Kittens were evil. They were evil, sneaky little bastards and Snowy was no exception. Yami hated Snowy and if the cat hadn't made Bakura so happy, he would have dropped it back off at the shelter.

But that would have made him feel guilty. And he had enough guilt to deal with thanks to that whole doctor incident. And speaking of doctors, Yami really needed to figure out what they would do the next time Bakura got hurt. Surely Dr. Reynolds wasn't the only doctor in town.

Of course, considering what Dr. Reynolds was really like, Yami was hesitant to allow _anyone _near Bakura. Maybe he should go to medical school or something. But that would take forever and cost a whole lot of money. Maybe he could take an online course instead...

And he was getting off the subject of cats. Cats were evil, especially little ones with pure white fur and bright blue eyes. Though Yami probably wouldn't have minded Snowy so much if she (or he, none of them had really wanted to check) wasn't so damned expensive. Who would have thought cats needed so many things? When Yami and Marik had agreed to let Bakura keep her, they had expected that all she would need was a food bowl, water dish, food, and a collar.

This was not so.

According to Bakura, she also needed toys, treats, brushes and combs, a bed, a harness and leash, and... a sweater. Yami had tried to convince him that she already had a fur coat and that she didn't need a sweater; but Bakura had given him those puppy dog eyes and Snowy had imitated him. And Yami had caved; he could not resist the puppy dog eyes... no matter how amusing it was to see them on a cat.

So here they were, in Petsmart, with a cart full of all the things a cat could possible need or want. Plus a few books on how to care for a cat. Bakura probably wouldn't read them but Yami would... and he'd be sure to tell Bakura all the important parts. They couldn't have Bakura accidentally hurting Snowy; he would never forgive himself.

"Bakura, if you don't put her back in the carrier, she's going to run off."

"No she won't! She loves me; don't you, Snowy?"

"Meow!"

"See?"

Yami sighed and tried to ignore them as he pushed the over-loaded cart into the checkout line.

* * *

"I can't believe we spent nearly $500 on a _cat,_" Marik groaned as he sat down the last of the bags and collapsed on the couch.

Yami nodded tiredly in agreement as he collapsed next to Marik, gazing at their shopping bag cluttered floor. Even in Ancient Egypt, cats didn't need this much stuff... and they were _worshipped _back then. _'Oh Ra,' _Yami thought, shivering. _'What if Bakura tells Snowy that cats were worshipped?' _The damn cat would never let them hear the end of it and she would treat them like her personal slaves.

That was a depressing thought; an ancient Pharaoh being ordered around by a six week old kitten. He'd never live it down. And what were they talking about before he drifted? Oh, money. That's right; they had spent hundreds of dollars on a little white ball of fluff. Fortunately... "It's not like it was _our _money," he said, moving so he could lay down and use Marik's lap as a pillow. "Kaiba can afford it. Probably spends more than that on his puppy."

Marik nodded, playing a bit with Yami's hair. "Yeah. So when do you think he'll notice his credit card missing? We've had it for a while now."

Yami shrugged. "If he didn't notice when we used it to buy a $100,000 house, I doubt he'll notice $500 of cat toys."

"He just doesn't care."

They blinked and turned to look at the door, where Bakura was standing and holding Snowy. "What do you mean?" Marik asked as he stood, having forgotten he was Yami's pillow.

Yami glared up at him from his new spot on the floor. He really hated it when that happened. Marik never forgot when _Bakura _was using him as a pillow; why did he always forget Yami? Ok, so maybe the fact that Bakura usually played with various parts of Marik's clothing or his hair or his hands... basically, Bakura made it hard to ignore him. That was it; Yami needed to be more annoying. He could do that.

Now what were his lovers doing? Oh, Marik was showing Bakura the correct way to hold a cat. And Snowy did look much happier now that she wasn't just hanging in his hands. Though Yami wondered why Bakura hadn't already known how to hold her; he _was _Egyptian after all. But cats _were _sacred animals and they had been kept in temples and palaces. Bakura had lived on the streets and so would have had limited contact with the creatures. There, that explained it.

But it still didn't explain the fact that Bakura should have been able to tell Snowy was uncomfortable with the way she was being held. She _was _growling after all. And she was scratching him too; he should have felt that.

Wait, she scratched him? Damn cat; hurting Bakura like that. Not that Bakura noticed. He never noticed things like that unless they were pointed out to him. Or unless the injury was so severe the pain was impossible to ignore. Like that time Bakura had found Malik's motorcycle and decided to try it out.

Malik wasn't allowed to bring his motorcycle over anymore.

And Yami had just noticed he was still on the floor. Pharaohs should not be on floors. It was undignified. And what had he been thinking about that had made him forget to get up? Let's see... cats, injuries, motorcycles... yeah that was it. But why was he on the floor in the first place? He couldn't seem to remember.

"You fell when Marik stood up."

He blinked and glanced up at Bakura. He must have said that last part out loud. That or Bakura was suddenly telepathic. He really hoped Bakura wasn't suddenly telepathic. He'd see it as a game and accidentally hurt himself... or lose himself. Yami wasn't quite sure how telepathy worked but he assumed getting lost in another's thoughts was a possibility.

"Aren't you going to get up now?"

And he was _still _on the floor. Time to fix this. He sat up and leaned back against the couch, watching Bakura who was sitting next to him with Snowy in his lap. The cat blinked up at the Pharaoh, hissing quietly before snuggling against Bakura and falling asleep.

Great. The cat hated him. This would turn out badly; he just knew it. Well, hopefully he wouldn't be alone in his war against the cat. She probably hated Marik too.

Wait. Where _was _Marik?

"He's upstairs on the phone with Kaiba," Bakura said, petting Snowy before picking her up so he could move closer to Yami. "Can't you hear him yelling?"

Yami stared at him. "Are you telepathic?" he asked as Bakura snuggled up against him. And now that he thought about it, he _could _hear yelling coming from upstairs. But _why _was Marik talking to Kaiba?

Bakura frowned as Snowy, having been awakened when Bakura had picked her up, squirmed her way out of his arms and ran into a paper shopping bag that had fallen on its side. Bakura probably would have followed her and brought her back if Yami hadn't wrapped his arm around the white haired boy.

"Bakura?" Yami asked as he tried to keep Bakura's attention off the cat. "Why is Marik talking to Kaiba? He doesn't want to return the credit card you stole, does he?" If that was true, it would be completely out of character. Marik never returned the things he or Bakura stole. The closest he ever came was abandoning stolen cars where the police could find them... but he only did that because it was never a good idea to keep cars for very long. Especially since some of the newer ones had those tracker unit things. They had learned _that_ one the hard way.

"Oh, I didn't steal it!" Bakura said cheerfully as he rested against his lover. "Kaiba gave it to me!"

Oh. That explained the yelling. Wait... Kaiba _gave _it to him! "Kaiba _gave _it to you!" he shrieked, causing Bakura to wince and move away from him. Oops. He hoped he hadn't given Bakura a headache. Unlike pain from an injury, Bakura _always _noticed headaches. And he had enough headaches without Yami giving him anymore. Maybe he should ask quieter? "Bakura, love, why did Kaiba give you a credit card?"

Bakura stared at him as he rubbed his head. Damn, he looked like he had a headache. This was just not Bakura's day. First beeping microwaves, needing stitches, evil child molesting doctors, cat scratches - not that he had noticed those- and now he had a headache. That _Yami_ gave him. Yami needed to be punished for hurting his lover. He'd ask Marik to do something later. And Bakura still hadn't answered his question. "Bakura?"

Bakura shrugged as he turned to look for Snowy, who was no longer in the over turned bag. "I don't know. I think he said something about debts but I wasn't really listening."

Yami groaned. They _really _needed to teach Bakura to _listen _when people gave him things for no reason. Not listening was a good way to get trapped in a situation you couldn't get out of. And if Kaiba had so much as _thought _about hurting Bakura... Yami _really _needed to kill something.

Now where was that damned cat?

* * *

Yami, unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on who you asked - did not get to kill Snowy. He couldn't even _reach _Snowy. Why couldn't he reach Snowy? Because Snowy was on top of the refrigerator.

Yami wasn't quite sure how such a tiny little thing like Snowy could get on top of the refrigerator. There was nothing for her to climb to get up there and he highly doubted she jumped from the counter. It was much too far for such a small cat. But she was still on top of the refrigerator and Yami had to get her down before Bakura came in and saw her up there. Because Bakura would try to climb up there and get her himself; and Yami couldn't have that, especially since Bakura would most likely hurt himself and they no longer had a doctor.

Speaking of Bakura, what was he _doing _in the living room to make so much noise? Glaring briefly at Snowy, Yami turned and walked back to the living room. And stared.

Bakura had obviously decided that Snowy's things could not stay in the bags any longer. Now, the bags were gone and the Snowy's things were spread randomly all over the floor. Though as Yami looked closer, he noticed it wasn't as random as he first thought. There was a pile for toys - and it was a _large _pile, too - and a pile for grooming supplies, a pile for bedding and a pile for food and dishes. And _why_ did they buy four dishes? They only needed two. Oh well, no point in complaining. It was just an extra 40 bucks. Yes, a set of dishes cost _40 Ra damned dollars! _Snowy couldn't have the cheap plastics one... no, she needed the pure silver _engraved _set. Spoiled brat.

Yami sighed, deciding that Bakura could be left alone for the time being, and returned to the kitchen. Snowy was _still _on the fridge. Yami growled. Snowy hissed back. Neither moved.

Yami finally realized he was having - and losing - a staring contest with a cat. The cat was driving him insane. Shaking his head, he pulled a chair away from the table and over to the counter. Checking to make sure Snowy was still there - she was - he carefully climbed onto the chair and then onto the counter. He stood and leaned across the gap between the counter and fridge, praying that he wouldn't fall and bust his head open.

"What are you doing?"

Yami nearly fell. After having regained his precarious balance, he turned and looked at Bakura. Bakura stared at him in confusion for a moment before setting the silver dish full of gourmet kitten food on the table and picking Snowy up off the floor.

Yami watched in disbelief as Bakura sat the kitten on the table. He turned quickly - almost _too _quickly - back to the fridge. Yep, no Snowy. How the _hell _had she gotten down? And without him _seeing _her?

"Yami?"

Yami blinked and returned his gaze to Bakura, whose attention was divided between Yami and Snowy, who seemed to smirk at the Pharaoh before continuing to eat her food. There was something really freaky about that cat. But he could think on that later, when Bakura wasn't in the room and waiting for him to answer his question. "Yes, Bakura?"

Bakura cocked his head. "Why are you climbing the fridge?"

"Uh, no reason," Yami said as he nearly lost his grip. He smiled brightly at Bakura, who looked like he didn't really believe him.

But fortunately Bakura didn't push it, instead picking up the now empty food dish and putting it in the sink. He stared at Yami for a few moments in confusion before shaking his head and leaving the room.

Yami sighed and turned back to the fridge, prepared to carefully push off so he was standing once again fully on the counter. And he suddenly found himself looking into impossibly large bright blue eyes.

Startled, Yami lost his grip, slipped, and went crashing to the floor. Dazed, he laid there for a moment, thanking Ra that nothing seemed to be broken. And as he laid there, he saw the owner of the impossibly large blue eyes. Snowy was once again on top of the refrigerator and was now staring down at him in obvious amusement.

Damn cat.

TBC...


End file.
